Title: Catching Catwoman
Summary: Monty Pippin takes Eddie Arlett to meet his grandfather. Crossovers ensue.
Archiving: Always welcome; just let me know you have done so.
Notes: Written for my loving spouse.
"Pip, explain to me what the hell we're doin' visiting your family," Eddie said, a little annoyed.
Inspector Monty Pippin took off his coat and arranged it neatly over his arm, hooking the handle of his umbrella into his elbow. "My grandfather used to be an investigator back in the '60s. You've got no idea of the trouble they used to run into. Dude, he could tell you stories that would make that dog of yours run away like the hounds of Hell were on his tail."
"I'm looking forward to meeting him. Maybe we should bring him by the house," said Eddie. "I've been trying to get Pete to run away for years."
Pippin knocked on an apartment door. "Grandfather? It's me, Monty."
Behind the door, Eddie could hear feminine giggling. After a minute or so, the door was opened by a leggy redhead of about 25 or so. "He says to come on in."
Inside the beautifully appointed living room, an elderly man sat in a wheelchair. He was dapper, dressed in a three-piece suit with necktie and shiny shoes. "I see the sense of style is genetic," Eddie said dryly.
The old man smiled. "Monty! So good to see you! And this must be that Detective Arlett you've been working with." He turned to Eddie. "I do hope you're enjoying your sojurn across the pond." He steered his chair over to the sideboard. "Champagne?"
"Yes -" Pippin began.
"No," Eddie broke in, a little forcefully. "Sorry, Mr. Steed, we're on duty. Pip brought me here because he thought you might be able to help us in an investigation we're doing."
The leggy redhead smiled. "I'll go make tea," she said, slipping in to the kitchen - and, Eddie noted, discreetly out of earshot.
Steed's smile was charming - not in a used-car-salesman way, Eddie thought, more like David Niven in one of the Pink Panther movies. "I'm happy to be of assistance to Scotland Yard, but -" he gestured at the wheelchair "- I'm afraid it's been quite a while before I've had any firsthand experience. Why, my nurse has to help me to bed every evening."
"You told me a story about a woman, once," Pippin said. "She jumped out of eighth floor windows after a diamond heist and was still able to run away. You said she walked across the electrical wires between buildings."
"Ah, yes," Steed said. "The Catwoman, we called her."
"Well," Eddie said, trying to forestall any future reminiscences, "we've got someone who's using the same M.O. She broke into the German ambassador's residence last night."
"Did she, now?" Steed said, leaning forward in his chair.
"Yep," Pippin said. "She got some jewelry, and some papers the ambassador doesn't want to talk about. MI-5 is trying to pull the case out from under us."
"Unfortunately for them, you've got something they don't," said Steed, standing up. Any pretense of being a doddering old man was gone; he seemed as spry as Eddie or Pippin. "Monty, grab my hat and my brolly, and tell Nancy we're going out for a little while."
"What is it with you people and the freaking umbrellas?" Eddie muttered as they walked to the closet.
"Oh, you'd be surprised at the uses for a simple umbrella," Steed said from the doorway.
"Ears like a bat," said Pippin, shaking his head. "It's no use, man. Don't even try to whisper around him."
Eddie picked up the hat, which was unexpectedly heavy. "What's this hat lined with, steel?"
"Titanium," Steed said, putting it on. "Great thing, modern technology. The steel lined ones used to give me a headache." He pulled a cellphone out of his suit pocket, the tiniest one Eddie had ever seen, pressed one button, and lifting it to his ear, said, "Mrs. Peel, we're needed."
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